"the past is the past" and other unhelpful advice as we cross the threshold into 2022

About December 10th, every year, I start to feel a dark cloud descend upon my comings and goings. For many years I ignored it. Moody … I must be moody, I thought, dismissing myself as a parent might carelessly dismiss their teenager.

But slowly, I’ve grown to realize that the feelings we don’t name become powerfully nameless influences, interfering with …