Such a beautiful but also challenging read, Sara. I wrestle very much with how to both pray in hope in the God who is healer and loving Father, yet also accept the heavy crosses He has laid on me my and husband’s shoulders and trust that God is bringing good out of so much pain and suffering? What I’ve come to settle on is that surrender is not acceptance in the sense of discouraged resignation but surrender/acceptance as an act of trust in God’s providential care even in suffering yet choosing to carry hope in the darkness of the pain and unchanging circumstance.
I read the subject line and wanted to immediately read it while simultaneously wanting to sprint in the other direction. This has been one of the hardest parts of our infertility journey all these years- frustration at myself for proving every month that I haven’t accepted it yet with the heartbreak I feel when a miracle hasn’t come…guilt? confusion? when I think “does this mean we shouldn’t have pursued these medical options?”…does still wanting it mean I haven’t accepted things as they are…trying to understand why I have these desires that feel ingrained in me, feel so God-given and encouraged, if they won’t see them fulfilled…questioning myself of how else I should be trying to use these desires and giftings if not in the conventional way…
Just externally processing. The both-and is so hard to live with sometimes. Have to try to hold myself with some grace.
Kelly, I resonate deeply with what you’ve written. Know I’m in the trenches with you wrestling through this idea of acceptance and surrender and trust. I’m walking the road of infertility and miscarriage with you and have had a very hard year as well in this area.. I think this question of pursuing treatment or whether we should accept the current reality of our infertility so hard. Know you’re not alone in it.
My mindset on it is unless God slams the door shut hard to us having kids, I seek to continue to be open to life and conception and adoption and pursuing conceiving and fertility medically in a way that honors God while also striving to accept that I’m also called to live my now, my marriage and life without kids, wholeheartedly. I’m praying for you! You’re not alone in this struggle 💗🙏🏼
This mindset is so well expressed and really blessed me, thank you so much for your message 💙🙏🏼 saying a prayer for you and your husband right now, Lenore
True! But how do we grow in acceptance and still hope ? I also love what you wrote about "not accepting your lot" in the chapter Healer of your book Adore. Thank you Sara for expanding my heart and my thoughts and showing me the way to talk more honestly to God! From France.
oh the paradox! This is exactly my wrestle, Lea. Can He both call us to hope and also to acceptance of a scenario that isn't changing? How can I press in for healing in one area of my life and yet, in another, sense He is asking me to lay it down. . . the mystery.
This kind of wait that you describe can feel like no other ... it's beautiful how supple your heart is after such a long wait. It's clear He is meeting you.
Your first question, "Is it faithless???" grabbed my heart! And once again, thank you for pointing me to the Father. In my life, contentment has that acceptance feel...when I have my eyes glued to HIM and am able to say YES Lord, I am content...no matter the circumstance...He has been so faithful to wash over me with HIS Peace and His deep joy. OH that I would daily not be so easily distracted by the worries of this life that pull the eyes of my heart down.
So many good nuggets in this post. Going to need to sit with and meditate on. Thank you for sharing the deepest parts of your heart and challenging us to sit in this place.
Oh how I needed to hear this, to linger on this, to lean into this. My marriage has always been challenging and just this season in general as we navigate the toddler years with a very strong willed little one. Sometimes I do wonder if I should just “accept my lot”. Not to give up, but to really surrender what my idea of joy is, to trade it for true joy and hope, not dependent on circumstances. I haven’t figured out how this happens or when it happens, but it needs to happen. Thanks again
Thank you, Sarah. A much-needed word for this reader, and your way with words makes it all so palatable. Acceptance isn't the easy way, but it is so essential to our growth. Peace.
I will need to reread this again because I couldn’t stop the steam of tears. This year my word focus is JOY, and so much of this resonated with my heart. Looking forward to your book.
Nicely written Sarah. I will share with my wife. I have yet to get a website and expand but will soon. Consider and count are action verbs. Joy takes action to have incorporated into our lives. Kudos.
For the child for which I'm praying ceaselessly, the past couple of weeks have brought a lightening of my spirit (at times!). I have spent so much time and so many pages in my journal pouring my heart out and asking for the Spirit to move in this child. One morning recently I was sitting quietly and it seemed God was speaking to me about several areas that needed some action, but after reflection with my husband later, I noticed that this situation was not even on the list of what I felt like God was speaking to me about! This idea of accepting, right where the person is at, is a daily and often moment by moment action for me.
Also, this morning while I was praying, I was thinking of how the things you have been sharing recently have been so in touch with and challenging for my spirit. Thank you for being willing to continue to be vulnerable and write in the midst of your struggle and pain - and not being silent, though that is appropriate at times. Thank you for always directing me to a deeper walk.
Such a beautiful but also challenging read, Sara. I wrestle very much with how to both pray in hope in the God who is healer and loving Father, yet also accept the heavy crosses He has laid on me my and husband’s shoulders and trust that God is bringing good out of so much pain and suffering? What I’ve come to settle on is that surrender is not acceptance in the sense of discouraged resignation but surrender/acceptance as an act of trust in God’s providential care even in suffering yet choosing to carry hope in the darkness of the pain and unchanging circumstance.
Beautifully put, Lenore
Thank you for writing this. The difference between discouraged resignation and an act of trust… thank you
I read the subject line and wanted to immediately read it while simultaneously wanting to sprint in the other direction. This has been one of the hardest parts of our infertility journey all these years- frustration at myself for proving every month that I haven’t accepted it yet with the heartbreak I feel when a miracle hasn’t come…guilt? confusion? when I think “does this mean we shouldn’t have pursued these medical options?”…does still wanting it mean I haven’t accepted things as they are…trying to understand why I have these desires that feel ingrained in me, feel so God-given and encouraged, if they won’t see them fulfilled…questioning myself of how else I should be trying to use these desires and giftings if not in the conventional way…
Just externally processing. The both-and is so hard to live with sometimes. Have to try to hold myself with some grace.
Kelly, I resonate deeply with what you’ve written. Know I’m in the trenches with you wrestling through this idea of acceptance and surrender and trust. I’m walking the road of infertility and miscarriage with you and have had a very hard year as well in this area.. I think this question of pursuing treatment or whether we should accept the current reality of our infertility so hard. Know you’re not alone in it.
My mindset on it is unless God slams the door shut hard to us having kids, I seek to continue to be open to life and conception and adoption and pursuing conceiving and fertility medically in a way that honors God while also striving to accept that I’m also called to live my now, my marriage and life without kids, wholeheartedly. I’m praying for you! You’re not alone in this struggle 💗🙏🏼
This mindset is so well expressed and really blessed me, thank you so much for your message 💙🙏🏼 saying a prayer for you and your husband right now, Lenore
Praying for you too Kelly!
I’m single & 43 yet still praying God would provide my own children while also enjoying blessing of 13 wonderful nieces & nephews! 🥰
True! But how do we grow in acceptance and still hope ? I also love what you wrote about "not accepting your lot" in the chapter Healer of your book Adore. Thank you Sara for expanding my heart and my thoughts and showing me the way to talk more honestly to God! From France.
oh the paradox! This is exactly my wrestle, Lea. Can He both call us to hope and also to acceptance of a scenario that isn't changing? How can I press in for healing in one area of my life and yet, in another, sense He is asking me to lay it down. . . the mystery.
Sara, You’ve explained my pain so perfectly.
It does feels wrong to accept a “No” from God, because what Ive wanted for 46 yrs is a beautiful holy thing…a husband who is well and loves me.
I’ve hung on to the “hope” that God would someday answer my prayers.
But anyone with any sense or faith would recognize that He has!
Your message has given me the courage to accept His “no” and give this to Him to sort out.
Thank you
This kind of wait that you describe can feel like no other ... it's beautiful how supple your heart is after such a long wait. It's clear He is meeting you.
I love you Sara. Let’s make sure we look each other up when we get to Heaven🥰
Your first question, "Is it faithless???" grabbed my heart! And once again, thank you for pointing me to the Father. In my life, contentment has that acceptance feel...when I have my eyes glued to HIM and am able to say YES Lord, I am content...no matter the circumstance...He has been so faithful to wash over me with HIS Peace and His deep joy. OH that I would daily not be so easily distracted by the worries of this life that pull the eyes of my heart down.
Love to you, friend!
So many good nuggets in this post. Going to need to sit with and meditate on. Thank you for sharing the deepest parts of your heart and challenging us to sit in this place.
A message I needed to read today. I don’t want to accept… that’s why I’m stuck…
I keep thinking God will come through and I keep getting disappointed that He just isn’t. At least, not in the way I hoped.
It's such a windy road to acceptance ... I understand this struggle and the stuck-ness that comes with it.
Oh how I needed to hear this, to linger on this, to lean into this. My marriage has always been challenging and just this season in general as we navigate the toddler years with a very strong willed little one. Sometimes I do wonder if I should just “accept my lot”. Not to give up, but to really surrender what my idea of joy is, to trade it for true joy and hope, not dependent on circumstances. I haven’t figured out how this happens or when it happens, but it needs to happen. Thanks again
surrender has been the word that keeps hovering in my mind ... and I very much "haven't figured out how this happens or when it happens," also
Thank you! Some hard encouragement my heart needed to hear today
I'm needing to hear and re-hear myself, Julie.
Thank you, Sarah. A much-needed word for this reader, and your way with words makes it all so palatable. Acceptance isn't the easy way, but it is so essential to our growth. Peace.
You're right, Carol ... acceptance isn't the easy way. It feels much like a rough, unpaved, patch of road, but yes ... so so essential for our growth.
Oh, to learn to live in the tension... thank you for your authenticity. A beautiful invitation.
I will need to reread this again because I couldn’t stop the steam of tears. This year my word focus is JOY, and so much of this resonated with my heart. Looking forward to your book.
What a word ... perhaps that should be mine in 2024.
Nicely written Sarah. I will share with my wife. I have yet to get a website and expand but will soon. Consider and count are action verbs. Joy takes action to have incorporated into our lives. Kudos.
I have read this ten times. Thank you. I needed every word. Tears 😭 ❤️
Oh I'm so glad, Kristy.
Perfection
For the child for which I'm praying ceaselessly, the past couple of weeks have brought a lightening of my spirit (at times!). I have spent so much time and so many pages in my journal pouring my heart out and asking for the Spirit to move in this child. One morning recently I was sitting quietly and it seemed God was speaking to me about several areas that needed some action, but after reflection with my husband later, I noticed that this situation was not even on the list of what I felt like God was speaking to me about! This idea of accepting, right where the person is at, is a daily and often moment by moment action for me.
Also, this morning while I was praying, I was thinking of how the things you have been sharing recently have been so in touch with and challenging for my spirit. Thank you for being willing to continue to be vulnerable and write in the midst of your struggle and pain - and not being silent, though that is appropriate at times. Thank you for always directing me to a deeper walk.
And like several others said, I have reread this several times.