“Failure is part of God’s design…” Oh how very much we don’t want to face that possibility! I think so many of us believe that if we have a dream, one so deeply seeded we can’t see ourself separate from it, that SURELY it’s part of God’s plan for our life. But when years turn to decades and the dream feels all but lost, perhaps it is time to ask God if the dream was truly his or whether it was our “Isaac”—that good and beautiful thing that maybe we let slip into the realm of idolatry, becoming more important to us than God’s perfect plan. Valerie asked how do we know it’s time to let it die—maybe it’s more about surrender than death. Maybe it’s more about loosening our chokehold and giving God more freedom to orchestrate or not. I don’t know. But thank you, Sara, once again for being raw and throwing it out there for us to feast on.
Hi Sara, I'm new to your Substack, and I really love/hate this post! (Love because it's full of wisdom, hate because, well, my own dreams feel so precious to me)
I'd be curious to know more about your own experience with the "death of dreams" as it sounds from this post that you actually had a deep dream fulfilled - that of having children. What is your experience with the grief of lost dreams? How would one possibly know when to "let go" of a certain dream?
Oh yes, I can relate!! For me, I began to see a pattern (both as I looked back on my infertility but also as I took a deeper look at my current state) and this was it: extreme exhaustion (deep-tissue tiredness) from doing all the acrobatics to make the dream happen, then grief ... a sadness I couldn't shake. It was out of that grief that I began to ask curious questions of God and of myself: why am I so tired? Is this pursuit Yours, for me, God? Is there something You are saying to me in this that I've been unwilling to hear because I am so locked into this dream? I'm certain this process isn't even as linear as I describe it and probably different for everyone. It's a dotted line -- a suggestion of a series of questions to ask God -- this post.
Hi, Sara. I'm new to your Substack, and I appreciate your words today--thanks!
A number of years ago, I remember someone praying, "Lord, until you show us otherwise, we pray that You would..." We can all finish that sentence with our deepest needs and desires. God is sovereign, even--maybe especially-- over our deepest desires. I am old enough to have seen His purpose in the death of some of my dreams, but others are still in the "until You show us otherwise" stage. He is a consuming fire. The question I force myself to answer is, is He worthy of anything He chooses to consume in my life?
Ugh.. this was a bit of a hard read. How do you know if it's time to let the dream die? We have struggled with infertility for 10 years. We do have two boys whom we love and because we love them we would like more. We envisioned having more than 2 kids before knowing how challenging growing our family would be. It feels so sad, sad that it is so hard, sad to never be pregnant again, sad to see empty chairs around the table that we long to be filled. I just don't know what do do with the longing.
Oh … all that cannot be addressed in one letter. I have been in your shoes and the longing is so real.
Perhaps your last question is the one that most needs curious consideration with and before God — what to do with the longing? — not answer seeking but sitting with the question and with God. Your question at the end might be better than mine, at the beginning, for you right now ❤️
Thank you- that is helpful. I have been thinking of that in relation to your previous letter. Sitting in the ache of longing and doing nothing. That seems like where I am supposed to be. I do feel the ticking of my time to bear children ending and that makes the doing nothing painful.
Hi Sara! You don't know me, of course, but I have been a Subscriber to your Substack for a time. Thanks for sharing your walk with other Believers like me. I also have a Substack and just scheduled a post for my subscribers at 8pm sharp and at 8:02 your post arrived in my inbox speaking directly to the places I had addressed in my post. So I just wanted you to know that God used you this evening to speak into my current circumstances and prayers. If you care to take a look: https://michelleowenby.substack.com/p/the-quarterly-reflection-d22
“Failure is part of God’s design…” Oh how very much we don’t want to face that possibility! I think so many of us believe that if we have a dream, one so deeply seeded we can’t see ourself separate from it, that SURELY it’s part of God’s plan for our life. But when years turn to decades and the dream feels all but lost, perhaps it is time to ask God if the dream was truly his or whether it was our “Isaac”—that good and beautiful thing that maybe we let slip into the realm of idolatry, becoming more important to us than God’s perfect plan. Valerie asked how do we know it’s time to let it die—maybe it’s more about surrender than death. Maybe it’s more about loosening our chokehold and giving God more freedom to orchestrate or not. I don’t know. But thank you, Sara, once again for being raw and throwing it out there for us to feast on.
Hi Sara, I'm new to your Substack, and I really love/hate this post! (Love because it's full of wisdom, hate because, well, my own dreams feel so precious to me)
I'd be curious to know more about your own experience with the "death of dreams" as it sounds from this post that you actually had a deep dream fulfilled - that of having children. What is your experience with the grief of lost dreams? How would one possibly know when to "let go" of a certain dream?
Thanks for your courageous writing!
Oh yes, I can relate!! For me, I began to see a pattern (both as I looked back on my infertility but also as I took a deeper look at my current state) and this was it: extreme exhaustion (deep-tissue tiredness) from doing all the acrobatics to make the dream happen, then grief ... a sadness I couldn't shake. It was out of that grief that I began to ask curious questions of God and of myself: why am I so tired? Is this pursuit Yours, for me, God? Is there something You are saying to me in this that I've been unwilling to hear because I am so locked into this dream? I'm certain this process isn't even as linear as I describe it and probably different for everyone. It's a dotted line -- a suggestion of a series of questions to ask God -- this post.
Hi, Sara. I'm new to your Substack, and I appreciate your words today--thanks!
A number of years ago, I remember someone praying, "Lord, until you show us otherwise, we pray that You would..." We can all finish that sentence with our deepest needs and desires. God is sovereign, even--maybe especially-- over our deepest desires. I am old enough to have seen His purpose in the death of some of my dreams, but others are still in the "until You show us otherwise" stage. He is a consuming fire. The question I force myself to answer is, is He worthy of anything He chooses to consume in my life?
This is so good! You have such an incredible way with words. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you :)
Ugh.. this was a bit of a hard read. How do you know if it's time to let the dream die? We have struggled with infertility for 10 years. We do have two boys whom we love and because we love them we would like more. We envisioned having more than 2 kids before knowing how challenging growing our family would be. It feels so sad, sad that it is so hard, sad to never be pregnant again, sad to see empty chairs around the table that we long to be filled. I just don't know what do do with the longing.
Oh … all that cannot be addressed in one letter. I have been in your shoes and the longing is so real.
Perhaps your last question is the one that most needs curious consideration with and before God — what to do with the longing? — not answer seeking but sitting with the question and with God. Your question at the end might be better than mine, at the beginning, for you right now ❤️
Thank you- that is helpful. I have been thinking of that in relation to your previous letter. Sitting in the ache of longing and doing nothing. That seems like where I am supposed to be. I do feel the ticking of my time to bear children ending and that makes the doing nothing painful.
Hi Sara! You don't know me, of course, but I have been a Subscriber to your Substack for a time. Thanks for sharing your walk with other Believers like me. I also have a Substack and just scheduled a post for my subscribers at 8pm sharp and at 8:02 your post arrived in my inbox speaking directly to the places I had addressed in my post. So I just wanted you to know that God used you this evening to speak into my current circumstances and prayers. If you care to take a look: https://michelleowenby.substack.com/p/the-quarterly-reflection-d22
Oh the timing!!! ❤️❤️❤️
“We orbit around this dream with our life,” - so powerful. Thank you for these beautiful words.❤️🙏🏻