Yes. This carries echoes of some thoughts I’m pondering. For quite a few years now I’ve described daily life as survival mode. Making it work, getting through. There are gifts and growth, but it’s hard gritty unseen work that most of the time feels most like surviving. Recently I read one sentence in a devotional that challenged me to shift my mindset. My daily pressing on through the hard, through challenging behaviors, broken hearts, prideful responses (mine) etc., etc. is an act of worship - of faithfulness. I’m not in survival mode. I’m in faithfulness mode. Somehow saying it that way makes me feel less stuck and more willing to stay in it - not so anxious to find the way out.
NEEDED THIS. Thank you Sara, for speaking to my 2022 and the unresolved pieces of the story that I bring into 2023 and the feelings that have accompanied the wrestle of knowing God could have resolved them sooner, but, in His perfection, has chosen not to. Praying for a spirit that has hope in the long-suffering.
This vulnerability and yet clinging to God is what I needed to hear today! The “unresolved tension” as stated above. Thank you as always for sharing! I think the theme that’s been running through my last few years has been “I can hold both.” The happy and the sad, the clarifying and the unsettling, the joyful and grief.
Also- received my very first Growth book today!!!🥰🥳🤩
Just finally getting around to reading this & echo the sentiments shared - heard this verse on the radio yesterday & reminded me of need to remain in faithfulness mode while everything seems to be taking a piece of me (good & tough!) leading to proclamation of His goodness through all!
“I will tell everyone about your righteousness. All day long I will proclaim your saving power, though I am not skilled with words.” Psalms 71:15 NLT
Long suffering. And earn a crown of. righteousness for His name sake. Very sweet reflections. Towards the end your write you sparks of living faith that’s got a wonderful prose to it. Faith is a muscle. It has to be exercised. Kudos.
Thank you for so eloquently expressing the struggle in my life as a chronically-ill survivor. It is just what I needed to hear today — to be reminded that we all live in the “already, but not yet” kingdom.
Yep! The Lord is not looking for seasonal devotion. He said that to me so loudly last fall. Steady, showing up every day. Leaning in to him, sitting at his feet. Answered prayer or not. Breakthrough or not. I never knew I was not doing this until he showed me how inconsistent my “faithfulness” was! Ouch. Hurts so good!! I want to become that one who tarries. Help us Lord!!
Thank you so much for addressing this, Sara, that longing and expectation that never seems to come about, wondering if something is wrong with yourself, trying to not envy others' as they have breakthroughs, answers, and completion, while one has raw edges, exposed nerve endings, ragged ends. Learning to trust His heart always no matter what...
Susan I echo your statement—I’m desperately trying to master the Adore while battling so many life stressors piled one-over-another and my brain barely registering life (as Jennie said, survival). Being terribly raw and honest with God about how this is SO not the way I wanted my life going. Finding both conviction and comfort in Paul Davis Trip’s New Morning Mercies. So very thankful to see through this community that I am indeed NOT alone in feeling this way. And trying to remember this is a long race and just what is at stake in the end. Satan is good at “wearing out the saints” (Daniel 7:25), leaving me feeling “the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in the miry depths, where there is no foothold.” (Psalm 69:1-2). Waiting on the Lord to “still the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea…[hushed]” (Psalm 107:28-29). Wanting to feel, as Sara often paints, held in the lap of the Lord. Saying a prayer for us all. <3
I think soooo many are in this place. The lord is surely doing something on the earth in allowing his children to walk through these valleys. You’re not alone.
Dawn , I wanted to share with you something that has helped me especially this week as I think about it. I get the InDeed Bible Study booklet from Walk Throughout the Bible and this week's study has been based on Jeremiah's account (Jer 18:1-10) of God sending him to the potter's house to watch a while, and to then hear God's word about it. This week, with the lessons, I have been contemplating God as Artist and specifically Potter, myself the clay. Have been thinking about what the clay needs to go through to be molded, perhaps "gouged" with a design, and fired to make it beautiful and useful. Hard and dry clay is useless unless it is remoistened in time, but otherwise just cracks and breaks. I have been thinking about how our Potter gave us the ability to have a mind of our own (unlike the clay on the wheel) and that we can insist on being the shape and style we want, but unless we trust our Potter's artistry and hands, we will not reach the fullest expression of His Artistic genius. We will not be as beautiful as we might have been. Our circumstances, and delayed or "unanswered" prayers, I'm thinking, need to be seen in light of the goal; the end result of reaching our potential through God's molding and decorating. It will be worth it! It helps me to reframe the stresses and disappointments as producing something beautiful in His hand, that I will see later, and I will be glad of it.
Perhaps the song from Babbie Mason "Trust His Heart" will bless you. My favorite line - "When you can't trace His hand, trust His heart."
Sent with a prayer for your comfort and uplifting.
Susan—thank you. This is the exact metaphor I’ve come back to for years (as an artist it makes sense to me). Some art forms just seem to take longer than others to reach their full potential…all that “unresolved tension” and such. 😏 thank God He is patient; that I can Adore
Thank you, Sara, for beautifully putting into words...the thoughts of my heart! 2022 was...well...hard and I am holding tight onto Him to continue seeing Him in the moments...and that His "Soon" is defined in another world. Love the familiarity of seeing and feeling HIS breath...and feeling Him cup my face in His Hands, SEE me and smile!
I found myself saying ‘new year, same me’. But when I stopped to think I thought actually December 31st to January 1st that’s true. BUT January 1st 2022 to January 2023 I’ve grown. I’ve done hard days and easier days. I fought long covid. Parented on the edge of my abilities. And I’ve learned new things of God and His character. Sometimes the long game is the hard but REAL thing. And I’d rather be authentic than approved of any day.
What you wrote here, a lot of us need to read and take to heart. I'm going to link to it in my monthly newsletter at the end of January. Thank you for your honesty.
Thank you Sara! For your honesty in saying what’s been bouncing around in me as well. This season…this place…this waiting is how endurance is developed. How I long to endure to the end…finish well, strong, faithful to Him..bearing much fruit that remains…be His undeniable fragrance. Grateful we get to grow, journey together with Him. ❤️
This is beautiful, Sara. I've been reading Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning" and this post went along with that so well.
I love "It's the paradox of God. He saved the world in one weekend but also after thousands of years" and "I can spend a lifetime seeking the power of His hand or knowing, secretly but with familiarity, the rise and fall of His chest as He breathes."
Sara, thank you so much for these timely words. They’ve spoken a needed word to my heart as I’ve wrestled with the turning of a new page, and the seeming continual normalcy of my life.
I think God has been speaking to me lately about “respecting the pace” — accepting that life happens at a speed I don’t control, and it’s often slower than I would like. The way out of hardship, the healing of hurts, the progress toward a goal set with a hopeful heart. These things can feel like the end we’re searching for, the fulfillment of a promise, the favour of our God finally making itself manifest. And yet I too wonder if we haven’t set our hope on the wrong thing when our hearts hope for such things. Are we to look for the bright light at the end of the tunnel as the grace given us, or is the tunnel itself what our Lord would have us pay attention to, and even rejoice in?
I’ve felt of late that I need to be more mindful of the present — such an oft-repeated phrase that it can seem like little more than a cliché, but it is so true. Because normal life is made up of such more plain and simple graces, sprinkled now and again with the “miraculous.” But I want my eyes to be opened to life in such a way that even the normal, mundane everyday seems miraculous to me.
Thank you for reminding me of a simple (yet oh-so-complex) reality.
Yes. This carries echoes of some thoughts I’m pondering. For quite a few years now I’ve described daily life as survival mode. Making it work, getting through. There are gifts and growth, but it’s hard gritty unseen work that most of the time feels most like surviving. Recently I read one sentence in a devotional that challenged me to shift my mindset. My daily pressing on through the hard, through challenging behaviors, broken hearts, prideful responses (mine) etc., etc. is an act of worship - of faithfulness. I’m not in survival mode. I’m in faithfulness mode. Somehow saying it that way makes me feel less stuck and more willing to stay in it - not so anxious to find the way out.
I like that...faithfulness mode. I'm writing that down! :)
I do too!
NEEDED THIS. Thank you Sara, for speaking to my 2022 and the unresolved pieces of the story that I bring into 2023 and the feelings that have accompanied the wrestle of knowing God could have resolved them sooner, but, in His perfection, has chosen not to. Praying for a spirit that has hope in the long-suffering.
This vulnerability and yet clinging to God is what I needed to hear today! The “unresolved tension” as stated above. Thank you as always for sharing! I think the theme that’s been running through my last few years has been “I can hold both.” The happy and the sad, the clarifying and the unsettling, the joyful and grief.
Also- received my very first Growth book today!!!🥰🥳🤩
Gahhh … the tension! It’s like working an entirely new muscle for me to stay settled with tension.
Just finally getting around to reading this & echo the sentiments shared - heard this verse on the radio yesterday & reminded me of need to remain in faithfulness mode while everything seems to be taking a piece of me (good & tough!) leading to proclamation of His goodness through all!
“I will tell everyone about your righteousness. All day long I will proclaim your saving power, though I am not skilled with words.” Psalms 71:15 NLT
Long suffering. And earn a crown of. righteousness for His name sake. Very sweet reflections. Towards the end your write you sparks of living faith that’s got a wonderful prose to it. Faith is a muscle. It has to be exercised. Kudos.
Thank you for so eloquently expressing the struggle in my life as a chronically-ill survivor. It is just what I needed to hear today — to be reminded that we all live in the “already, but not yet” kingdom.
Yep! The Lord is not looking for seasonal devotion. He said that to me so loudly last fall. Steady, showing up every day. Leaning in to him, sitting at his feet. Answered prayer or not. Breakthrough or not. I never knew I was not doing this until he showed me how inconsistent my “faithfulness” was! Ouch. Hurts so good!! I want to become that one who tarries. Help us Lord!!
Thank you so much for addressing this, Sara, that longing and expectation that never seems to come about, wondering if something is wrong with yourself, trying to not envy others' as they have breakthroughs, answers, and completion, while one has raw edges, exposed nerve endings, ragged ends. Learning to trust His heart always no matter what...
Susan I echo your statement—I’m desperately trying to master the Adore while battling so many life stressors piled one-over-another and my brain barely registering life (as Jennie said, survival). Being terribly raw and honest with God about how this is SO not the way I wanted my life going. Finding both conviction and comfort in Paul Davis Trip’s New Morning Mercies. So very thankful to see through this community that I am indeed NOT alone in feeling this way. And trying to remember this is a long race and just what is at stake in the end. Satan is good at “wearing out the saints” (Daniel 7:25), leaving me feeling “the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in the miry depths, where there is no foothold.” (Psalm 69:1-2). Waiting on the Lord to “still the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea…[hushed]” (Psalm 107:28-29). Wanting to feel, as Sara often paints, held in the lap of the Lord. Saying a prayer for us all. <3
I think soooo many are in this place. The lord is surely doing something on the earth in allowing his children to walk through these valleys. You’re not alone.
Dawn , I wanted to share with you something that has helped me especially this week as I think about it. I get the InDeed Bible Study booklet from Walk Throughout the Bible and this week's study has been based on Jeremiah's account (Jer 18:1-10) of God sending him to the potter's house to watch a while, and to then hear God's word about it. This week, with the lessons, I have been contemplating God as Artist and specifically Potter, myself the clay. Have been thinking about what the clay needs to go through to be molded, perhaps "gouged" with a design, and fired to make it beautiful and useful. Hard and dry clay is useless unless it is remoistened in time, but otherwise just cracks and breaks. I have been thinking about how our Potter gave us the ability to have a mind of our own (unlike the clay on the wheel) and that we can insist on being the shape and style we want, but unless we trust our Potter's artistry and hands, we will not reach the fullest expression of His Artistic genius. We will not be as beautiful as we might have been. Our circumstances, and delayed or "unanswered" prayers, I'm thinking, need to be seen in light of the goal; the end result of reaching our potential through God's molding and decorating. It will be worth it! It helps me to reframe the stresses and disappointments as producing something beautiful in His hand, that I will see later, and I will be glad of it.
Perhaps the song from Babbie Mason "Trust His Heart" will bless you. My favorite line - "When you can't trace His hand, trust His heart."
Sent with a prayer for your comfort and uplifting.
Susan—thank you. This is the exact metaphor I’ve come back to for years (as an artist it makes sense to me). Some art forms just seem to take longer than others to reach their full potential…all that “unresolved tension” and such. 😏 thank God He is patient; that I can Adore
Exposed nerve endings … yes, such a good way of putting it
Thank you, Sara, for beautifully putting into words...the thoughts of my heart! 2022 was...well...hard and I am holding tight onto Him to continue seeing Him in the moments...and that His "Soon" is defined in another world. Love the familiarity of seeing and feeling HIS breath...and feeling Him cup my face in His Hands, SEE me and smile!
Love you, friend!! ❤️❤️❤️
Um...WHOA. This helps me lean in to the unresolved tension a bit more. Thank you.
I found myself saying ‘new year, same me’. But when I stopped to think I thought actually December 31st to January 1st that’s true. BUT January 1st 2022 to January 2023 I’ve grown. I’ve done hard days and easier days. I fought long covid. Parented on the edge of my abilities. And I’ve learned new things of God and His character. Sometimes the long game is the hard but REAL thing. And I’d rather be authentic than approved of any day.
Thank you for your thoughts. 😍😍
What you wrote here, a lot of us need to read and take to heart. I'm going to link to it in my monthly newsletter at the end of January. Thank you for your honesty.
Made me cry!
Thank you Sara! For your honesty in saying what’s been bouncing around in me as well. This season…this place…this waiting is how endurance is developed. How I long to endure to the end…finish well, strong, faithful to Him..bearing much fruit that remains…be His undeniable fragrance. Grateful we get to grow, journey together with Him. ❤️
This is beautiful, Sara. I've been reading Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning" and this post went along with that so well.
I love "It's the paradox of God. He saved the world in one weekend but also after thousands of years" and "I can spend a lifetime seeking the power of His hand or knowing, secretly but with familiarity, the rise and fall of His chest as He breathes."
Sara, thank you so much for these timely words. They’ve spoken a needed word to my heart as I’ve wrestled with the turning of a new page, and the seeming continual normalcy of my life.
I think God has been speaking to me lately about “respecting the pace” — accepting that life happens at a speed I don’t control, and it’s often slower than I would like. The way out of hardship, the healing of hurts, the progress toward a goal set with a hopeful heart. These things can feel like the end we’re searching for, the fulfillment of a promise, the favour of our God finally making itself manifest. And yet I too wonder if we haven’t set our hope on the wrong thing when our hearts hope for such things. Are we to look for the bright light at the end of the tunnel as the grace given us, or is the tunnel itself what our Lord would have us pay attention to, and even rejoice in?
I’ve felt of late that I need to be more mindful of the present — such an oft-repeated phrase that it can seem like little more than a cliché, but it is so true. Because normal life is made up of such more plain and simple graces, sprinkled now and again with the “miraculous.” But I want my eyes to be opened to life in such a way that even the normal, mundane everyday seems miraculous to me.
Thank you for reminding me of a simple (yet oh-so-complex) reality.