Phenomenal insight. Especially for those of us who tend to see our Heavenly Father through the lenses of our broken relationships with our earthly dads. Thank you.
One of my favorite writings of yours, Sara! I think this wrestling with the word (and why exactly that's the case in each person's life) is so paramount to the human experience and the times we live in. We see scripture twisted in whatever way a person wants, supporting their agenda, instead of asking in context: Am I trying to understand and use these words for universal love or self interest? Modern-day discussion about why the Bible feels hard is just as important, in my sincere opinion, as reading it...because in having this discussion we help demystify it for the masses who feel so estranged from the religion they were brought up in. Keep doing this good work. :)
I haven't been in the Word, and part of that is because everything else is so noisy right now. I am in a custody battle, fighting for the ability to relocate with my 3 children, to escape a myriad of experiences that are termed "post-separation abuse". It's not that I don't want to talk to the Lord or hear from Him, but I feel like with the legal battle, my professional career, my PhD program, and single-mom'ing a 6/8/10 yo---I'm exhausted. I know He is the source of rest and recovery, and yet it also feels like carving out that time is going to cause one of these other balls I am juggling to fall. And not one of these balls seems to be made of rubber...they are all glass.
The other part is that, church has changed for me. There is such a stigma towards divorce, and no one cares whether you left as a life-saving measure...you get the same scarlet letter. You don't defend yourself, or shout your years of hellish experiences from the rooftop to thwart the stares and whispers. But you notice them. And eventually they wear on you to the point that sitting in the pew is a painful experience because those that used to check-in with you after service or invite your family to lunch might give you a head nod out of guilt, but that's all the more they want to do with you. You're like a wounded deer. They don't know whether to drive off and act like they don't see you in pain, scrape you off the highway so they don't have to watch you die, or just put you out of your misery altogether.
At any rate, what you wrote, "There is history and narrative and hurt that informs whether I pick up that book and talk to the Man wrapped within it at a moment of stress or read another news article and scroll through my feed." really hit me. There are moments, and so many more lately, where I would rather scroll that feed for a verse someone else mined out of the rocks and is holding up as treasure, than go looking for myself.
Melanie, I echo Sara’s response...I’m pausing to pray for you tonight. My heart breaks for how you feel in church...that deer analogy is striking.
I pray God comforts you and sends a gift to you this weekend. His gifts for me are often His love expressed through nature. But I know we are all different, and I will pray that He sends a gift to you that comforts you in an extraordinary way. I pray that He allures you in the wilderness❤️
Melanie, I'm so sorry for your ache. I cannot imagine all you are navigating. It's clear there is quite a history here and it sounds deeply painful. I remember once listening to a talk about suffering where the speaker talked about the first wave being the event itself and then further suffering being others' responses to that event. It sounds as if you are walking through both. And then parenting hurting hearts, to boot.
I'm pausing now to pray that He would meet you profoundly this year. . . in your pain and hurt and loss.
Oh my, dear Sara. Wonderful. Clearly, there's something in the ether today as Ann Voskamp writes similarly in her post today. I hope you don't mind me sharing it.
I've been struck in recent times as a result of Advent readings of the notion of 'delighting in the fear of the Lord'. Delighting! Hmmm ... to adore, revere, admire, cherish, and yes, fear, our loving and Almighty Lord. How does one come to such delight? This is my journey for 2021 ... to uncover such treasures and it is in diving deep into the Word where the treasure lies me thinks.
We can often think it a chore, rather than a gesture of love, of meeting with the lover of our souls and listening to His heart for us.
Thank you, dear Sara for continuing to create a environment where the Lord's light shines bright.
Some of Nate's favorite authors: AW Tozer, Eugene Peterson. He also has appreciated Bob Sorge's books. Currently he is reading a book called Glorious Pursuit by Gary Chapman and loving it. Specifically for men, he might recommend a John Eldredge book or Morgan Snyder's recent book Becoming a King. He reads all over the map ... and he's my one male reference for books, so perhaps he'll chime in here with some other suggestions.
Thank you for these resources - lately I've noticed the time I spend in the Word lacks the feeling of intimacy and revelation that has been so precious, and I know there is something within me that is creating this block. What a wonderful blessing that your daughter has begun "to see how her history informs her understanding of the reality in front of her." I pray for her and your family, and for all of us who seek to grow closer to our Father, that we may begin understand how our history is shaping our current perception of reality. Your words are always a blessing, thank you for sharing.
Amy, so awesome that you can be attentive to your heart and notice this. So many go for years in this state without noticing the void. I know I did: years. I know He will meet you as you seek Him about this void.
Please thank your daughter for her courageous vulnerability to voluntarily share her story with strangers that we might examine our own hearts and stories to more deeply and authentically connect with Our Author.
What wisdom and love and leadership you give, Sara. Imitating His gentle and lowly ways. Thank you. It is always needed.
I'll be honest, I was hesitant to follow the nudge to share her story -- but I do think it's a part of her journey, also, to have read it back in print and processed again. I'll share this with her ...
The hesitancy exposes good things. ❤️ Love. Care. Protection. The faith response to His nudge in the face of good hesitation exposes even better things. In you, for you, in her, for her. Praying God uses this publishing of a slice of her own story far beyond what you can imagine or see right now. 🙏🏻
Phenomenal insight. Especially for those of us who tend to see our Heavenly Father through the lenses of our broken relationships with our earthly dads. Thank you.
One of my favorite writings of yours, Sara! I think this wrestling with the word (and why exactly that's the case in each person's life) is so paramount to the human experience and the times we live in. We see scripture twisted in whatever way a person wants, supporting their agenda, instead of asking in context: Am I trying to understand and use these words for universal love or self interest? Modern-day discussion about why the Bible feels hard is just as important, in my sincere opinion, as reading it...because in having this discussion we help demystify it for the masses who feel so estranged from the religion they were brought up in. Keep doing this good work. :)
This is exactly what I needed to read today.
I haven't been in the Word, and part of that is because everything else is so noisy right now. I am in a custody battle, fighting for the ability to relocate with my 3 children, to escape a myriad of experiences that are termed "post-separation abuse". It's not that I don't want to talk to the Lord or hear from Him, but I feel like with the legal battle, my professional career, my PhD program, and single-mom'ing a 6/8/10 yo---I'm exhausted. I know He is the source of rest and recovery, and yet it also feels like carving out that time is going to cause one of these other balls I am juggling to fall. And not one of these balls seems to be made of rubber...they are all glass.
The other part is that, church has changed for me. There is such a stigma towards divorce, and no one cares whether you left as a life-saving measure...you get the same scarlet letter. You don't defend yourself, or shout your years of hellish experiences from the rooftop to thwart the stares and whispers. But you notice them. And eventually they wear on you to the point that sitting in the pew is a painful experience because those that used to check-in with you after service or invite your family to lunch might give you a head nod out of guilt, but that's all the more they want to do with you. You're like a wounded deer. They don't know whether to drive off and act like they don't see you in pain, scrape you off the highway so they don't have to watch you die, or just put you out of your misery altogether.
At any rate, what you wrote, "There is history and narrative and hurt that informs whether I pick up that book and talk to the Man wrapped within it at a moment of stress or read another news article and scroll through my feed." really hit me. There are moments, and so many more lately, where I would rather scroll that feed for a verse someone else mined out of the rocks and is holding up as treasure, than go looking for myself.
Melanie, I echo Sara’s response...I’m pausing to pray for you tonight. My heart breaks for how you feel in church...that deer analogy is striking.
I pray God comforts you and sends a gift to you this weekend. His gifts for me are often His love expressed through nature. But I know we are all different, and I will pray that He sends a gift to you that comforts you in an extraordinary way. I pray that He allures you in the wilderness❤️
Melanie, I'm so sorry for your ache. I cannot imagine all you are navigating. It's clear there is quite a history here and it sounds deeply painful. I remember once listening to a talk about suffering where the speaker talked about the first wave being the event itself and then further suffering being others' responses to that event. It sounds as if you are walking through both. And then parenting hurting hearts, to boot.
I'm pausing now to pray that He would meet you profoundly this year. . . in your pain and hurt and loss.
Thank you. <3
Oh my, dear Sara. Wonderful. Clearly, there's something in the ether today as Ann Voskamp writes similarly in her post today. I hope you don't mind me sharing it.
https://annvoskamp.com/2021/01/revolutionize-your-quiet-time-how-to-turn-your-quiet-time-into-a-life-changing-time-of-encountering-the-living-god-with-best-resources/#more-203871
I've been struck in recent times as a result of Advent readings of the notion of 'delighting in the fear of the Lord'. Delighting! Hmmm ... to adore, revere, admire, cherish, and yes, fear, our loving and Almighty Lord. How does one come to such delight? This is my journey for 2021 ... to uncover such treasures and it is in diving deep into the Word where the treasure lies me thinks.
We can often think it a chore, rather than a gesture of love, of meeting with the lover of our souls and listening to His heart for us.
Thank you, dear Sara for continuing to create a environment where the Lord's light shines bright.
Oh I look forward to reading this post. Yes yes yes to your words on delighting in Him!
Thank You Sara. Can you recommend resources for men? Or recommend some men of God. I enjoy reading you.
Some of Nate's favorite authors: AW Tozer, Eugene Peterson. He also has appreciated Bob Sorge's books. Currently he is reading a book called Glorious Pursuit by Gary Chapman and loving it. Specifically for men, he might recommend a John Eldredge book or Morgan Snyder's recent book Becoming a King. He reads all over the map ... and he's my one male reference for books, so perhaps he'll chime in here with some other suggestions.
the Glorious Pursuit book is by Gary Thomas or Gary Chapman?
Whoops! Yes, Gary Thomas.
Thanks
I don't know Gary. Bob Sorge has good books. Thank you for your suggestions
Thank you for these resources - lately I've noticed the time I spend in the Word lacks the feeling of intimacy and revelation that has been so precious, and I know there is something within me that is creating this block. What a wonderful blessing that your daughter has begun "to see how her history informs her understanding of the reality in front of her." I pray for her and your family, and for all of us who seek to grow closer to our Father, that we may begin understand how our history is shaping our current perception of reality. Your words are always a blessing, thank you for sharing.
Amy, so awesome that you can be attentive to your heart and notice this. So many go for years in this state without noticing the void. I know I did: years. I know He will meet you as you seek Him about this void.
Please thank your daughter for her courageous vulnerability to voluntarily share her story with strangers that we might examine our own hearts and stories to more deeply and authentically connect with Our Author.
What wisdom and love and leadership you give, Sara. Imitating His gentle and lowly ways. Thank you. It is always needed.
I'll be honest, I was hesitant to follow the nudge to share her story -- but I do think it's a part of her journey, also, to have read it back in print and processed again. I'll share this with her ...
The hesitancy exposes good things. ❤️ Love. Care. Protection. The faith response to His nudge in the face of good hesitation exposes even better things. In you, for you, in her, for her. Praying God uses this publishing of a slice of her own story far beyond what you can imagine or see right now. 🙏🏻