I think I’m in a bit of a unique group. I feel like I’ve spent so much of my life searching for that one big thing I was destined by God to do. I often feel like I just may have missed the meeting where gifts were handed out. I know that’s not true, but it’s hard to convince my heart of that sometimes. In my 7th decade now I look back at a trail of false starts, searching for the “plan.”
"My shoulders slumped for months in response to the hypothetical opposition that was mostly in my head." I especially resonated with this part having recently walked away from a ministry I had prepared to serve in for decades and was passionate about. The last several months have been a process of grieving the death of those dreams and yet discovering joy on this side of where God led.. despite the nagging of this notion that there is some shame in what I did which periodically pulls my shoulders back down again. I'm glad to know I'm not wrestling with this alone.
Oof. Feeling this. I think something that has kept me tethered to projects, commitments, and even dreams is the amount of investment I've already put into them. Thousands of dollars into failed business plans and training. Classes. Supplies. TIME. I've (wisely or not) gone into debt over some things. To "quit" seems to mean extra failure. Walking away just feels impossible.
I’ve had similar processing & untangling with leaving a ministry I thought I was on staff with for life. And often was made to feel as though I was abandoning others who stayed, or the mission and vision as a whole. As if whatever was next was lesser. But I, too, sensed that God was leading me for some unknown reason to trust him and say goodbye. I still don’t have all the answers and at times I’m wondering why. This post makes me reframe those questions.
This is so good. I left a beloved career on January 10 to pursue a different call. I've been palming the walls in the dark to find where God is in all of this. It's scary and freeing. Yet, I still find myself shocked that I "quit". I question if I really heard God correctly. In my heart of hearts, I know I did but our minds play tricks on us. I'm loving what you said about God speaking through the bodies that he created. I whole-heartedly believe that. Listening is the problem.
Thank you for this. I recently left a job at a super cool start up to go back to a company that’s familiar & safe. I spent so much time feeling so sad to leave even though I knew it was what I needed. It felt like quitting meant I was giving up and not strong enough to make it work. As usual, thank you for putting into words what I have experienced or felt!
I’ve been in both situations - the “carrying on” because I didn’t “feel” I could or should quit as well as the “quitting” (although I prefer the words, letting go). Both were filled with angst for me.
My word for this year - relinquishment - kept popping into my head. In the end, I must relinquish the control (I think I have) to Him and He will meet me there.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a winner and giving something your “all”. And changing life directions can be a good thing. But being defeated by our insecurities is what I hear in that famous quote about winners, and quitters…. Hasn’t that happened to
Us all, at least once in our lives?
I’ve come to realize that sometimes it’s God says “no” to the dreams we have that He doesn’t share for us, usually it’s when those pieces we so diligently try to put in place never seem to fit. It’s finding peace in the midst of change that’s so difficult, isn’t it? And that’s when solitude, wise counsel, patience (vs perseverance) means more than striving...
I think I’m in a bit of a unique group. I feel like I’ve spent so much of my life searching for that one big thing I was destined by God to do. I often feel like I just may have missed the meeting where gifts were handed out. I know that’s not true, but it’s hard to convince my heart of that sometimes. In my 7th decade now I look back at a trail of false starts, searching for the “plan.”
"My shoulders slumped for months in response to the hypothetical opposition that was mostly in my head." I especially resonated with this part having recently walked away from a ministry I had prepared to serve in for decades and was passionate about. The last several months have been a process of grieving the death of those dreams and yet discovering joy on this side of where God led.. despite the nagging of this notion that there is some shame in what I did which periodically pulls my shoulders back down again. I'm glad to know I'm not wrestling with this alone.
Oof. Feeling this. I think something that has kept me tethered to projects, commitments, and even dreams is the amount of investment I've already put into them. Thousands of dollars into failed business plans and training. Classes. Supplies. TIME. I've (wisely or not) gone into debt over some things. To "quit" seems to mean extra failure. Walking away just feels impossible.
This is so so so good. I love your writing and your wisdom (hard-won as it may be:). Thanks for sharing.
I’ve had similar processing & untangling with leaving a ministry I thought I was on staff with for life. And often was made to feel as though I was abandoning others who stayed, or the mission and vision as a whole. As if whatever was next was lesser. But I, too, sensed that God was leading me for some unknown reason to trust him and say goodbye. I still don’t have all the answers and at times I’m wondering why. This post makes me reframe those questions.
This is so good. I left a beloved career on January 10 to pursue a different call. I've been palming the walls in the dark to find where God is in all of this. It's scary and freeing. Yet, I still find myself shocked that I "quit". I question if I really heard God correctly. In my heart of hearts, I know I did but our minds play tricks on us. I'm loving what you said about God speaking through the bodies that he created. I whole-heartedly believe that. Listening is the problem.
Thank you for this. I recently left a job at a super cool start up to go back to a company that’s familiar & safe. I spent so much time feeling so sad to leave even though I knew it was what I needed. It felt like quitting meant I was giving up and not strong enough to make it work. As usual, thank you for putting into words what I have experienced or felt!
I’ve been in both situations - the “carrying on” because I didn’t “feel” I could or should quit as well as the “quitting” (although I prefer the words, letting go). Both were filled with angst for me.
My word for this year - relinquishment - kept popping into my head. In the end, I must relinquish the control (I think I have) to Him and He will meet me there.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a winner and giving something your “all”. And changing life directions can be a good thing. But being defeated by our insecurities is what I hear in that famous quote about winners, and quitters…. Hasn’t that happened to
Us all, at least once in our lives?
I’ve come to realize that sometimes it’s God says “no” to the dreams we have that He doesn’t share for us, usually it’s when those pieces we so diligently try to put in place never seem to fit. It’s finding peace in the midst of change that’s so difficult, isn’t it? And that’s when solitude, wise counsel, patience (vs perseverance) means more than striving...